A Scottish fun poem@ Is a doo a dove Dad by Jim Douglas

IS A DOO A DOVE DAD

BY JIM DOUGLAS

twin doos photography by annmackiemiller

Is a doo a dove/ Is a cow a coo Dad

A sparrow jist a spyug

And is a wall a waw Dad

Is a dog a dug

She's gonnae warm ma ear Dad

 Instead o' skelp ma lug.

Ma teacher's awfy posh Dad

 She changes aw oor names

Wee Shuggie now is Hugh Dad

And Jimmy's ayeways James

Ah'm scunnered wi' it aw Dad

The way she shoogles words

Ah must be glaickit no 'tae ken

That feathered friends are burds.

Ye learnt me aw wrong Dad

Ye cawd a ball a baw

Your wife is now my Mother

You said it wis ma Maw

Ah'm no share hoo tae spell Dad

Ah'll niver pass ma test

Whit is this ah'm wearin' Dad’

A simmet or a vest?

Ah gave ma nose a dicht Dad

When it began tae dreep

She gave me sich a fricht Dad

Ah near fall aff ma seat

“Haven't you a handkerchief”

She roared as if in pain

No, ah jist yase ma sleeve, Miss 

And wiped ma nose again.

Ah cawd a mouse a moose Dad

Ah shid hiv held ma tongue

That's manure oan yir bits Dad

Nae longer is it dung

It's turnips and potatoes

No tatties noo and neeps

She said I've ripped my trousers

When ah'd only torn ma breeks.

There's twa words fir awthin' Dad

They're jumbled in ma heed

Hoo kin I be well bred Dad

When ah keep sayin' breed

Now is a crow a craw Dad

 Is a bull a bull

A'll try tae get it richt Dad

I will, I will, ah wul

AND IF YOU WANT TO HEAR IT SUNG....